My Home from Home

For almost 2 years now, I have had a sanctuary, a safe haven, a place of peace and warmth - my home from home. I have taken and given back to this place. There have been times when without my sanctuary, I would have drowned in the seas of despair.

Recent months, however, have left me feeling that this place is not as safe and peaceful as it had once been. There are those with their own agendas, who will kick you out of the way if you are a "threat" to them. I have began to feel the sharp, hard kicks of late, leaving me balancing precariously on the cliff-edge. Do I jump before Im kick off? Or do I gain some valuable ground, and prepare to fight another day?

Last night, I was already for jumping off into the abyss, this morning however, Im stronger, more able, and far more determined to gain back some ground. I am fed up of being reduced to tears, being emotionally bruised and made to feel worthless and doubting myself. I was reminded last night what I have to give, and that Ive done nothing wrong - and to jump would be an act of cowardice. Im no coward, that's for sure, Im just not that strong for the time being.....

When I was married, my every move was scrutinised, every phone call I made was examined(and usually listened in to), every penny I spent, every appointment I had, every book I read, you get the picture......those that are doing the kicking are watching my every move, just waiting for to slip up so they can then pounce.

This place is still my sanctuary - the good people who also shelter there have made me feel safe, warm, secure and loved - those that try to push me off the cliff-edge can never undo all that good.

Im ready to fight another day.......